This is my response to “Peter” who I spoke to a few days ago.
Here’s what Peter said to me:
“Matt, I just don’t want to go out with this woman. What if she wants to go back to my place?
“I can’t take that embarrassment and failure again”
What should I do? I want to meet women but I can’t stand the idea of having things fail again.”
So I want to answer you here, Peter. And first I want to put a very suggestive sexy photo here. Just to get your attention. BUT warning: if you are recovering from porn or whatnot, do NOT look at the photo, just skip over it with your eyes and read on
Okay…let’s start with the photo of a beautiful sexy woman for no particular reason:
And with this photo, remember this:
She’s also worried about performing with you!
Yes, women also have their worries and anxieties about having sex with YOU.
Sure, she doesn’t have to get it up, but neither do you.
You don’t need to, you know.
You can take it slower. And build up the hormone Oxytocin in your brain and hers. Oxytocin makes great erections and lowers the time from one ejaculation to the next.
Oxytocin makes you dig the other person, but not in a needy hungry way. So if you and she aren’t right for each other, it will be a mutual friendly decision and you can still maintain a friendship. Maybe even FWB if you both want that.
You can give Oxytocin a chance to build up in your brain. How? By doing some sleeping together without trying to stick it in. Just for example. And no oral or handjobs for now, either!
But Matt, she’ll toss me aside if I say I want to take it slow…
She’s horny and she’ll think there’s something wrong with me if I tell her I want to take it slow…
Well, so what.
If she wants to have sex immediately and she doesn’t want to get to know you a bit first, then perhaps at this moment in your life she isn’t a good match for you. At this stage, it should be about building up Oxytocin.
Because Oxytocin can bring back softer erections and make them hard. Plus, Oxytocin removes performance anxiety and pressure.
So you don’t need to perform when your Oxytocin levels are high. It’s all automatic and stress free.
But back to what I was saying about your lady. She is worried too.
Women sometimes worry they won’t get wet. Or they worry they won’t come. Not all women worry about this all the time, but many women worry about this more often than you’d think.
(If we could just all get off like animals, we wouldn’t have all this brain stuff here and there, and it would be much easier? It’s the curse of Man and Woman, that we have brains to think with when it comes time to have sex.)
If you are following my recovery method, what do you tell her in the meantime?
You can as I see it, either conceal or reveal. But let me tell you a secret.
Women admire a man who has confidence.
And the confidence can be, “I’m giving my willie a rest. We can cuddle tonight, I’d love to do that, but sex is off the table for me during this time.”
Hey, how about that?
A breath of fresh air, no?
But Matt, won’t she think I’m some sort of wuss if I tell her that?
Good women know men’s equipment isn’t always functioning tippy top. Good women know men bear the incredible burden God gave men of not having say over whether their willie gets hard, or doesn’t. Women know men have that burden.
And great women know that
You have to be brave to be a real man with a penis
I’ve had my woman tell me that routinely. “Matt,” she’ll say. “I don’t know how you men do it. I’d hate to have to perform all the time. At least I can fake it now and then.”
So ask yourself, do you want to go to bed with a girl who doesn’t care about you, and who just demands satisfaction?
I’d throw her over the side in a heartbeat if she isn’t on board with what my willie is or isn’t doing at the moment…
Who has time or patience for that bullshit? A confident guy just moves to the next girl. Her loss.
Because there will be plenty of nice fun sexy times, plenty. You’ll see yourself through this even if it’s gone on for years, even decades.
But for gosh sakes, get your partner on your side. My system of recovery is so much easier if you have a girl to go to bed with, someone you care for who cares about you.
Yes try to be honest and discover how much better life is.
You’ll find that your life works a whole lot better when you’re not trying to erect a fake front (pun intended) and you just are honest.
It actually shows a SUPER confident man who can man up to a girl about a temporary dick problem. Even a temporary dick problem that has gone on for a long time. Hey, at least you’re getting the problem fixed.
A real man fixes a problem and a great woman loves a man like that. She’ll dig on you and be even hornier for you when the time comes. If you want to know exactly how to get this kind of confidence then click here to watch this presentation.
Try it this way.